There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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