Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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