i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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