I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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