Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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