I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
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the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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