he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize