2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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