I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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