Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
