You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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