So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
