dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
4 words: hood of his car
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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