Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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