i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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