i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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