its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
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This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
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My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize