He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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