So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
