She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize