dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Be still, my beating vagina.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
