Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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