Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
