remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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