I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
