everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize