im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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