Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
