The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My penis needs a shock collar
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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