The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
