I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.