I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
