weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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