guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
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Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
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Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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