Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
