Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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