i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
