at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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