I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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