Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
