anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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