she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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