playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
