I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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