apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
