Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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