You're completely useless in the revolution.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
