I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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