I'm gonna have a badass scar
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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