All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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