the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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