I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
