WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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